What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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