I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them.
In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'
Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit.
I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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