If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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